I hate Urbanspoon…
…It’s funny. You learn to take every Urban Spoon review with a grain of salt, testament to the mediocre scores holding true for Collingwood’s newest smoke house: Le Bon Ton – a wonton assault on all things Southern American by a Texan head chef. 75% on the Spoon at last count.. Laughable considering the high scores holding elsewhere. And the comments are golden, there were some real classics. One diner complained about the smell of the smokers, saying they will “definitely need to do something about that”. Well pardon me for walking into a smoke house! Do you also walk by the markets and complain about the smell of fresh fish? My shirt smelt so good I deep fried it the next day.
Anyway in we went, through the cool as hell bar area and into the dining room. It’s a pretty standard Texan exposed brick affair, closely spaced tables ensure you will see what your neighbours are eating and vice-versa. Which is kinda neat, because we had Manu Feildel plonk his arse on the table next to us and proceed to order salads. On a diet, apparently! Not us, because we set down to a trio of sandwiches. Two staples, and the special for the moment: The Waygu Burger. This was the first to arrive, and we set in.
“Wow-ee” were the initial thoughts. A special? C’mon guys. This burger, despite being the highlight of 2014 thus far, has a permanent spot in my Melbourne top 5. Delicious brioche, bacon, salad and a perfectly charred greasy wagyu patty. Nothing more to be said really. Except for an apology that the picture is rubbish, but the lighting was bad and I had Manu over my shoulder no doubt thinking about how bloggers are tossers!
The pulled pork sandwich was next. This went to prove that the large smokers aren’t just for show, this thing had been smoked low-’n-slow for a long time. And it showed. Aromas of hickory apparent throughout the mercifully tender pieces of pork engulfed in onions and sauce. Boy oh boy, this night just kept getting better and better.
And then there was a pause. A pause because we knew we had ordered one more sandwich, the burnt-end brisket sandwich. A cut that while overlooked by many, is a staple of Southern American cuisine.. Essentially, as the name suggests, the heavy charred, fatty ends of the brisket known as the point which, funnily enough are also the tastiest.
As it turned out, the kitchen had made a boo boo. Despite only having elapsed maybe 2-3 minutes after we finished our other two we thought we should alert a nearby waitress who checked and humbly apologised for the mixup. We didn’t care, and even though they turned a new one around in under 5 minutes, they still took it off the bill. That is exceptional service, because we weren’t complaining (We are pretty laid back lads). In 99% of Melbourne’s restaurants this happens on a daily basis, and they don’t even acknowledge the error let alone want to do something about it. What cool cats.
In it came, with an order of fries that we decided we needed because we hadn’t already consumed enough calories. Look at the beauty within.. A congealed ball of delicious smokey goodness, layer upon layer of flavours with raw vegetables thrown in for texture and a delectable mayo in there as well. This was the true highlight of the night and honestly likely the best you will get in Australia.
So folks, I have a pretty easy list now for the upper echelon of pulled pork, brisket and burgers. Because they are all in the same joint. Every minute you waste reading this blog entry is one you are missing out on by not being in there.