Joe’s Bar and Dining Hall

It was with great glee…

That J and I decieded to descend on  Joe’s – or, more correctly – rebirthed Greasy Joe’s, serving Melbourne’s finest with food akin to the name for the better part of 30 years. The weather was balmy, so with the sunroof down we trekked out to lively Acland St. What a mission that was. The drive was superb, but trying to find a park on a 27 degree Melbourne night when it appeared half the population had the same idea proved incredibly difficult. I timed our journey including trying to park at 1 hour 12 minutes. For a burger. That there folks is dedication. So you will forgive me for crossing over Carlisle St and into Acland’s more timid end. Admittedly, we did do a lap first of Acland St on the journey over and were stunned at just how many people were out and about. We even crossed a herd of bikies on a way through. Many a joke about what-if scenarios were had about consequences of knocking a bike over. So we tip-toed.

The first thing that will strike you on arrival, is not the faint quiff of amazingly fried patties, but rather the open sewerage from nearby footpath constructions. Hey, it might not transfer you to a Brooklyn burger joint, but at least you will feel like you are having a slice of America in downtown Phuket.

Sitting down to a rather empty restaurant we decided on Joe’s Classic; an amalgam of juicy patties, bacon, tomato, onion, double cheese and a mild mustard aioli. At 30 minutes lead time, (plus the travel time) expectations peaked and frustration set in. In an empty restaurant with presumably a full kitchen it was a little lousy to wait so long just for a burger and fries. Nevertheless, here they were.

Deconstructed Joe’s Classic at Joe’s Bar and Dining Hall

A deconstructed plate of assorted meats and veg. I jettisoned the majority of the raw tomato to one side and tucked in. The burgers themselves were tender and appropriately cooked (Perhaps, if i’m nitpicking, they could have been a touch more pink). They were good (I wouldn’t say mind-blowing), slightly too over-peppered but the bacon was the saving grace, crisp, salty and married harmoniously to the cheese. $18 for the burger and fries represented pretty good value.

I will add as a footnote my bun did quasi-crumble 1/3 of the way in, but overall Joe’s was OK. The fries won’t steal your heart, and the burger probably won’t either in truth – But if you find yourself down this end of Acland and Radio Mexico turns you away, consider laying down at Joe’s.

Joe’s Bar and Dining Hall
64-66 Acland St. Kilda
Joe's Bar and Dining Hall on Urbanspoon


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