The Beaufort

Holy Hell…

Walking into this Americana dive bar just after 8:30pm – was my initial reaction. I honestly thought we had stepped into a transporter and landed somewhere south of Tennessee. After about 3 or 4 loops of Rathdowne St actually trying to find the place (The numbers threw my GPS into a panic.. Just take a left from Alexandra Pde) we headed into the dimly lit corner establishment and moseyed on to the bar to place our orders for some grub and booze.

Americana signage at The Beaufort

The Beaufort was set up to serve all the classics: Wings, Philly Cheese Steak, fried pickles, dogs, and of course burgers. Even the burger, aptly named out-n-out shamelessly steals its name from the California-based burger Gods In-n-out.

We opened up with a Sun Sun, which I thought was great. Organic and a lighter crisper Yebisu esque can from Japan. J wasn’t convinced but I thought it was enjoyable. About 15-20 minutes later I revised the bar to try another one from the land of the rising sun.

Yona Yona at The Beaufort

This ale was more mutually palatable, J appreciated the fruity hopes of this Pale Ale.

Well, no sooner had I sat down with our refreshments the burgers arrived.

Out-n-Out Burger at The Beaufort

Wow. Instantly brought back memories of our recent trip to a food expo in Dallas, TX. The bun was the secret weapon. No, this was no garden variety brioche, nor was it a seeded Aussie typical. This, my dear friends, was the sugared, white, full fat American variety of soft goodness. It acted like a giant sponge, allowing all the juices from the patty (And believe me, the patty was juicy) to merge with the spices and condiments and just dance onto your tongue. The patty was oh so delectable, proving you don’t need to fuss around with the crap the burger houses lose out on. Don’t over spice it, don’t overcook it, and don’t put some organic virgin spotted cow from the Andes in it just so you can call yourself original and charge $20 for it.

This was $10.50 folks. Aaaaand, i daresay, is the most authentic dive-bar, diner, and typical American burger you are going to get. They don’t mess around. You get a sugared white bun, patty, sauce, mustard, cheese and onion. That’s it. A giant pickle on the side completes it.

I can’t really say anything else to describe what we thought about the burger, because we were speechless pretty much throughout. What about everything else? Well, the condiments were spectacular. Such attention to detail that they have all the bases covered. Mexican hot sauce, American hot sauce, American mustard, Ketchup – the works.

French’s Mustard at The Beaufort

Tapatio Hot Sauce at The Beaufort

My personal favourite  was (I even ordered it from Amazon when I got home) The Louisiana Hot Sauce (See first pic) – oh so addictive!

Aftermath – Total and utter devasation

As you can see from the above, we certainly devoured everything. The chips (Hand cut numbers) were delectable. Skin on, crisp, seasoned, crunchy… Beautiful.

So, lets nitpick for a second. What didn’t we enjoy about it? One factor, and it’s kind of a big deal. The Beaufort is obviously a bar, and a hipster hotspot, so they would pump it on FRI/SAT/SUN evenings. As a result, the toilets looked like they hadn’t seen a clean in about 6 years, with the sort of stale scum that get’s awarded Long Service entitlements. Put the burger’s up a couple of bucks and get the water closet some lovin’!!!

The Beaufort
421 Rathdowne St Carlton
The Beaufort on Urbanspoon


2 thoughts on “The Beaufort

    • Yeah – burgers were epic. Don’t expect much for scenery though! Rockwell I heard is the bomb (can’t wait to try) but had a mate go there last week said it was a bit cheesy?

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